MY INTERVIEW

Interviewer: Audrey, do you like being a woman?

Me: Yeah, I do. Very much.

Interviewer: why?

Me (incredulous): Why! Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because the love of my life is a guy and I don’t have intentions of being gay!

Both of us laughing.

Interviewer: But seriously, why?

Me: I think being a woman is wonderful. One, I didn’t choose to be born one. I kind of think about it like falling in love. You don’t really have a choice on whom you fall in love with, same with being male or female. There are just two options; either grumble away or accept it and enjoy it. It’s simple really. Two, I get to wear pretty dresses.

Interviewer: Since you bring it up, what do you think about love?

Me: I don’t think love is blind. In fact, it probably is the most vigilant of all things. It has just perfected the art of overlooking a lot of stuff.

Interviewer: where did you get that? Is it from a book?

Me (laughing): Why? Does it sound too ‘fortune cookie-ish’?

Interviewer: It sounds like you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it.

Me: That is all I ever do.

Interviewer: Okay, moving on. Are you religious?

Me: No. I’m a Christian.

Interviewer: And controversial, I see.

Me: A bit. Yeah. But Buddhism is a religion and Islam too. I’m neither. I’m a Christian.

Interviewer: Back to love.

Me: uh uh!

Interviewer: Ever been in love?

Me: Do I sound like I haven’t?

Interviewer: Now I don’t need to ask if you are a Ghanaian. You are. Have you?

Me: Yeah, where do you think I get all my ‘apor’ from? Have you ever been in love?

Interviewer: Audrey, I’m the one asking the questions, remember?

Me (exaggerating my surprise): Are you ashamed of being in love? My, my! You are blushing too.

Both of us laughing.

Interviewer: Okay, Audrey. Stop hijacking my show. Are you anti-marriage?

Me: No!!! I’m very pro-marriage.

Interviewer: Are you married?

Me: No.

Interviewer: Why?

Me: I’m waiting for you.

Interviewer: I am married.

Me: Divorce her.

Me (batting my eyelashes): I’ll be a better wife.

Laughter.

Interviewer: what do you want in a husband?

Me: A non-negotiable requirement is that he should know how to ride a bicycle.

Interviewer: I’m sorry, what?

Me: He should know how to ride a bicycle. Do you know how to ride one?

Interviewer: No, I don’t.

Me: Oh, then I’ve waited in vain all these hours. Hahahaha! You are disqualified.

Interviewer: I told you. Why a bicycle?

Me: Because I don’t know how to ride one and I want it to be my husband who teaches me.

Interviewer: You are such a character!

Me: We all have our quirks.

Interviewer: Last question. What do you think of submission of women to men in marriages?

Me: Submission isn’t slavery. It’s only difficult when you think of it as such. It’s like a tug of war. There isn’t a tug of war if one person refuses to pull.

Interviewer: it’s been nice having you on the show, Audrey. Thank you very much.

Me: loved being here. Thank you too.

Interviewer: This has been my time with Audrey. You heard her, guys; if you are an aspiring husband learn to ride a bicycle! Goodnight y’all!

****what? Like you never played ‘left hand’ against ‘right hand’ before? ****

THANKS FOR READING FOLKS!