DILEMMA VI

 

It had been a whole month since I last saw Adom. A whole month of neither seeing nor talking to him. We were at loggerheads with each other, or more accurately I was refusing to talk to him. He’d been calling me without end and I was ignoring his calls. What caused our tiff was Freda. No surprise there! I passed by Adom’s house one day and Freda was around. There we were and the choice of a movie for our entertainment became an issue. Yours truly just couldn’t resist; I stoked the fire till it became a full blown argument. I was actually impressed with how Freda handled the whole thing. She held her own, albeit with a touch of hauteur as if her preference was law. The impudence! I got angry and left, with big drama. Adom came after me and I told him I would come back when he doesn’t have such repugnant company. Now get this: Adom wasn’t making any attempts at dropping me off at my house. He apologized for it and said he couldn’t because he had a visitor he couldn’t leave all alone. I flared up.

“So you wouldn’t say anything in there even with that attitude of hers and now you won’t drop me off because of her?” I was practically shouting now and Adom barely got a word in before I stormed off with my parting shot: “fine! Go and attend to your ‘visitor’. I’ll find my own way home.”

He decided to pay me a visit one Saturday. Apparently, my ignoring his calls didn’t give him a hint. Taking your girlfriend’s side over mine. Me, your best friend, and after everything too. He was contrite enough so I forgave him, after all, we were pals (nowadays, I can’t think of that word without getting a sour taste in my mouth), were we not?

Mother left us for her room, leaving us alone. After we’d ‘hanged’ for a while, he complained that he was hungry, asking whether we had any food in the house. I thought this was a massive overcompensation because he’s teased me countless times that my food tastes terrible, so he wanting to eat was just another olive branch he was extending. We had some rice and stew in the fridge so I went to heat some up for him, only to find out the stew had no meat or fish left inside. I left the house then, to get some smoked fish for the stew.

After inquiring from three different vendors without success, I decided on some eggs instead. When I got back home and opened the door, right there on the couch was Adom and……………. no, that cannot be right. Adom and my mother on the couch……..kissing, like lovers do. My whole world flipped upside down in just seconds. What a fool I had been all this while. How long had this been going on? Was it ever about me? The shock must have numbed my fingers because I heard a thud in the distance. I suppose that was the eggs breaking. Adom and my mother sat on the couch while I stood within the door. We all seemed shocked.

I must have called Bill. I don’t remember because it all seemed so fuzzy. I remember greeting his mom at their house and her usual cold response though. When I got to his room, I just broke down and cried and cried. Bill had his own apartment in the house so he is for all purposes living alone. Nothing fancy but it afforded him the privacy he wants.

I spilled everything out to Bill and later wished I hadn’t because in spite of everything, I didn’t want anyone knowing this about my mother and my best friend. The only people I have. I decided to spend the night at his place. No way was I going home. I didn’t like it because he kept making nasty comments about the whole thing and I could have gladly strangled him if I could.

Only Bill would be stupid and insensitive enough to think I was in the mood for sex. By now I didn’t really care so I didn’t make any protests. I gave it fifteen minutes, tops. After his fifteen minutes were up he left for the washroom to clean up. I got up as if in a trance, made for the drawer in his crudely converted space of a kitchen and took what I was after. Back in bed, I listened for the sounds of his footsteps. We cuddled and when I heard his deep breaths, I knew he was asleep.

Taking the embodiment of my freedom and power from under my pillow, I felt its steely strength in my hand. When we cuddle, I usually have my head on his chest listening to his beating heart while he has one arm around me and the other under his head. This very favorite posture of his was his undoing in the end. With one fluid motion, I raised up the knife with both hands and drove it into his heart. That was when he woke up with a start. I got down, went to the side of the bed that gave me the easiest access to his head and smothered his head with my pillow to mute his cries for help as I watched the life drain out of him.

Tomorrow, his mummy dearest would wake up and find out I’d cost her a son, but hey, someone also cost me a mother and a best friend. Like I say, the world is so freaking fair, you’ve got to love it.

I pulled the knife out, sliced my wrists and returned to my original cuddling position. As I bled out, I thought of how ironic it was that after all is said and done, it will be reported that I died in Bill’s arms. Bill’s and not Adom’s.  What a way to go.

My thoughts are becoming blurred now. I think I heard someone say……..

Vatity, vatity………………..wait, that can’t be right.

Vality, vality………………no

Oh, yeah.

Vanity, vanity………………all is…………………..

****THE END****

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