INTERLUDE

TIME WITH THE WRITER (AUDREY)

Hello Reader,

I am sure there are all those hot shows on air whose ratings will go over the roof if they get yours truly on their show but until they see the light, you’ll have to make do with visiting this site to have some alone time with me. So here’s the thing; I’ll be bringing to you, “TYM WITH THE WRITER” from time to time. You know, because you guys find me so interesting and because I love you guys and the attention!

The only glitch though, is that I wouldn’t be interviewed by the same guy as the last time. After our last interview, I heard his wife gave him wahala for that small moment we had on set…..Smh.

Desperate housewives, pffttt!!!

***sighs*** great chemistry on set is kinda hard to come by these days.

Anyway, this got me into my lab to whip someone up who’ll be mine exclusively. His name is TIFAQ (Totally Imagined Frequently Asked Questions). He likes to be called Tifaq, and yeah, he’s a guy. Where’s the fun in whipping up a girl?

And now…….Today’s interview!!

Tifaq: So Audrey, what’s this? This whole writing thing. Is it a job or a hobby?

Me: Well, right now, all I know is that I’m enjoying it. So I’m not putting any labels on it yet.

Tifaq: The way I see it, you are not losing momentum. You seem to be gaining it after every post. I must confess I thought you would be preparing to close shop by now. No offence. Do you think your blog will still be here after, say, ten years?

Me: None taken. I had those same concerns before starting this whole thing. My main fear was if I’d be able to catch people’s attention and keep it, you know. I mean poems? Even I didn’t like them in High School so what’s the catch? At that time, that was all I had. But it’s all worked out well so far. Patronage seems a bit slow but I’m not tired yet so, all good.

Me: In ten years, I don’t know whether this blog will be around or not. But I can say that if it is, it will be far better than today’s. And if it’s not, then it means I would have replaced it with something better.

Tifaq:  Well, that’s bold. Now let’s get to your story writing. DILEMMA is a nice rendition but the ending was horrible! What were you thinking?!!!!!!

Me: Hahahaha! I was thinking, ‘complicated’ ‘twist’. Obviously, I haven’t developed that ability yet. Yeah, it was bad wasn’t it? I might redo the ending one of these days. But you think this is bad? You should see some of the stories that never made it out of my dustbin………hahaha.

Tifaq: So observers are curious. Is BURNT OUT a true story? Your true story?

Me: The thing with BURNT OUT or any story I want to write is that I want it to be able to pass for reality. So if anyone who reads it is confused as to whether it is my story or not, then I must be getting my aim right.

Tifaq: You didn’t answer the question though. Is it your true experience?

Me: No, it’s not. But the settings are real. They are real places I’ve been, with some embellishments of course, but real places nonetheless.

Tifaq: What has been your greatest challenge so far with BURNT OUT?

Me: The narrative. I’m more comfortable with writing my pieces in the ‘1^st person’. So writing BURNT OUT in the ‘3^rd person’ narrative was a challenge at first but I think I’m getting a hang of it gradually.

Tifaq: How do you know what guys think? When you wrote from George’s perspective, one lady reader writes: “Yeah, it’s typical men’s thought”. To her you seem to have captured the essence of the male mind. How do you know? You are not a transvestite, are you?

Me: Oh no.

Me (Leaning forward, closer to him and whispering): I’m something better. I’m a hermaphrodite.

Both of us laughing.

Tifaq: Can I see?

Me (with a mock serious face): Seriously? No way. I don’t want to be banned from this show.

He couldn’t stop laughing. I winked at him.

Tifaq: Audrey, do you write the whole story out and dish it selfishly to us a bit at a time?

Me: Yeah, because I love making you squirm. Just kidding, no. Even I don’t know the whole story when I start writing.

Tifaq: What happens next in BURNT OUT? 

Me (with gestures): My lips are sealed. Make a date with me to find out.

Tifaq: Thanks Audrey, for being on the show, today.

Me: You are welcome, and thank you for having me.

What do you think of our chemistry folks?